Almost 8 years ago, I was on a 7 hour flight from London travelling east to a destination where I would spend a year as part of my international work experience for Uni. Knowing that the flight would be a midday departure, I took a few books and extra batteries for my personal CD player in case I was either delayed or unable to sleep.
With checking and security cleared with ease, I got myself into the calm environment of duty free. As I dodged the sales assistants I needed for a peaceful seating area to wait for my gate to open. Once so, I made my way to the waiting area. Since I don't like to join the boarding scramble, I always sit and wait it out until all is clear. After 15mins, an air hostess showed me to my seat when boarding.
I always ask those at the check-in desk for a window seat and to block the seat(s) beside me and it's never an issue. Who likes to sit inbetween strangers or even have them constantly walking past to go some where? This time, someone was sat on my seat.
"Sorry, but this isn't your seat" the woman was told by the hostess. The woman who was sat on my window seat either pouted and winked at me or she was eating something sour, I couldn't tell.
Being the gentleman that I am, I said that it was ok for her to keep the seat and I submitted to the aisle seat.
An hour into the flight in we began talking or rather her talking and me listening aiding the conversation with the occasional "huh huh". I quickly made my excuses by fiddling with the entertainment screen to put a movie on and put on my head phones. She asked me to help to put a movie on for her, I just selected the first random movie. After a while I gave her a quick tutorial on how to navigate the menus.
Her paternal instincts was evidence when I half finished my meal began tidying up, "Why didn't you finish your...., it was delicious". "If you want to finish my...go right ahead I replied. She immediately took over my personal space. She dug her elbow into my chest and reached for my meal tray and even pulled my tray up.
But things got weirder.
Approximately an hour before landing she asked me to reach for her purse as she wanted to "show me something". She pulled out her passport out and handed it to me. I asked her "why do you want me to see your passport?". "I want to show you my picture" she replied. For the sake of the situation, I quickly glanced at her picture and returned her item.
"No, you didn't look at it properly, look again" she insisted. I began thinking why on earth would she want me to study her pic, a stranger of all. As I reopened the passport I felt something usual on the back. When I flipped over the passport, I noticed a very neat and subtle incision exactly behind the pic. She noticed my pause and asked "What's wrong?", "I think I got a paper cut" I lied to defuse the moment.
I examined the pic and said "You look like... yourself" and returned the passport. I felt that her passport may have been a counterfeit and was examining whether I would notice. Why would I even care?
45 mins from landing and she became a little too personal by asking for my home address and phone number "to keep in contact". Had she asked email address, I would've been ok to hand it over. I wasn't keen on the idea of her surprising me and turning up at my doorstep. "I'm in the process of moving now but I'll take your details when we land" I lied again.
30 mins from landing she was trying to convince me that we would be good friends and that it would be great idea to introduce me to her husband.
As the plane was taxiing post landing, she tapped me on the shoulder and quietly asked me to help her with her hand-luggage as it was "heavy". I played along and said "Of course, why not". Also she asked my to help her recover all her bags at the baggage claim area. I remained in my seat with my heart pumping through my mouth. What could be in her bags. "Don't worry, we travelled together, we'll leave this airport together" I reassured her.
As soon as the seat belt light went off with a ping, I shot out of my seat and immediately rummaged the over-head for my bag. Whilst she was seated amongst the sea of people rising and fussing she asked "Can you get my bag?". I could see her bag but I was far too nervous to even touch it. I needed to get away but I needed to distract her, but how?
"I think I dropped my passport near your legs" I blurted nervously. As soon as she looked down to check, I allowed myself to be swept with the mass exodus to the exit. I even nudged people back into their seats so that I would overtake them.
Once I was at the exit, I told one of the Hostesses that someone had fainted many rows back and needs urgent assistance.
I am sure that she may have been innocent, but at least I Jason Bourne'd her ass.
K
Haha.
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